It is fitting that on this 65th day of my birth and the day that according a random category set by who knows who is the day I “officially” enter the ranks of the “elderly, that I begin the record of the journey that characterized my mother’s final years and days. It is the day so many years ago that Mary K Balliett Child first became a mother. The journey I began unwillingly but one I was compelled to follow and still must follow. I press forward for the sake of the future and the heritage of Mary K and other’s like her. She is to be remembered for the many qualities and characteristics which made up her life but the suffering that enveloped her final years is not to be wasted on posterity. There are lessons in suffering. It is a part of her story, as unique as she was, yet all too familiar in that she, like so many others, was in the ranks of the elderly who are financially abused. Often that abuse is not limited to financial, but is the result of the isolation, manipulation and emotional abuse by cruel perpetrators. It usually spills into other abusive behaviors. It is not just the rich and famous who are afflicted by this crime but everyday people whose lives and finances are plundered by unscrupulous family and unethical guardians/conservators and attorneys alike. However due to the efforts of the children and grandchildren of some of the rich and famous, there have been significant strides to bring this crime out of the shadows and into the sunlight of truth. People like, Kerri Kasem of Kasemcares.org,Philip Marshall of Beyondbrooke.org, the Falk Organization, and Mickey Rooney’s daughter have done much to advance awareness of this crime and its devastating impact on the families whose lives it shadows across multiple generations. The crime is costly in every aspect of the word. It flows beyond the initial financial ruin that is inflicted on victims, but also follows into emotional and financial hardships it inflicts on the innocent family members drawn into the net and quagmire of the system, one that is often, over burdened, ill equipped, or under educated to deal with the complexities of the issues that present.

In the coming days I plan to chronicle both the victories and the challenges of my journey, some of which are continuing to this day. In some ways the pain is just a great even more than a year after my mother left us. Like so many others, although I was a reporter of abuse, testified before a grand jury, which eventually indicted the family member, my sister who, abused her, I was unable to say good by to her. Often I have been treated by unscrupulous, negligent, or unethical “professionals” as if I was an irritation, or worse, a criminal. Throughout this journey there has been a systematic isolation of Mom from most of the rest of her family. This crime always begins with isolation, although it may be subtle. It begins with isolation, but it does not end there as long as there are people with voices who will speak up, draw attention, resist and fight back against the bullies, and wrong doers who thrive behind closed doors. It is time to let the sunlight of truth shine beyond the doors.

And so it begins. In the words of Mary K, penned long ago regarding her home by the sea in Hawaii, “It’s a place I love, though I often roam, I am always eager to come back home.” And in some ways she has already returned home. But,for her heritage I persevere.

This one’s for you, Mom, Mary K, Grandma, in the vernacular in which she always signed her cards and letters. Mom, your legacy and heritage carry on. Love continues.